Who’s behind it?
Our names are Jennyfer and Jessyca, two identical twins with the vision to change the twins-world. Here, it’s all about twins and the importance to lead an independent and happy life, detached from each other and yet connected! This article is about who we are, what our twin relationship looked like in the past and what ultimately led to our vision today. Welcome and have fun!
Identical twin – a curse and a wonderful blessing at the same time!
Let’s start from the beginning:
Already at birth we were different from single babies – we came in a double pack. We quickly attracted attention. We were dressed the same way, were always compared to each other and were known in our birthtown like a minor celebrities. We were together all the time, eating the same meals, reading the same books and playing with the same toys. We were together in kindergarten, in the same school class and even at the same university in the same studies. We always had a companion at our side – ourselves. We shared everything with each other and made sure that both got equal sized pieces of the cake. Everything was wonderful! Well, not quite! Because for our birthday, there was only one cake for both of us! Not like for others that got a cake just for themselves! And don’t get us wrong: it’s not about the calories but being seen as one person. It was both a curse and a blessing to be a twin.
Geographical vs. personal separation from the twin
Until we reached young adulthood, we basically led the same life. From the outside, we were often advised that we should go our own ways. Secretly, we were aware that we wanted to separate ourselves from each other. We pursued the same professional interests, at least making sure that we chose different employers and hobbies as well as different places of residence every now and then, but this did not protect us from the real truth for too long:
We realized very late that we never had the opportunity to develop an independent personality. We lived too much as a twin unit. Our geographical separations were a desperate way to also achieve a personal separation. This however only worked because we subconsciously knew that this separation was temporary. So we knew that we would be reunited anyways in somewhat short period. Today we know that we have tried, but a geographical separation is useless if nobody knows how to really live an independent life.
More precisely, our focus was always on the other twin. A clear separation was not possible. What does my twin do, what does she choose, which way does she go? Then this path will certainly be the right way for me as well. At the end, we are twins! But always focusing on the other blocked us from seeing our own truth and our own wishes. Secretly, we both always asked ourselves the question, what we would do without the other and above all, who we were without the other.
The longing for individuality
The call for individuality became louder and louder, especially for Jessyca. Outwardly, we have always been a good team. We both made sure that the other one was doing well. We supported each other and gave each other support! Looking inward, however, being a twin became increasingly difficult for us. Jessyca was tired of all the comparisons, especially in adulthood. She also felt the melancholy of never really having tried other things, doing something completely different or building a life somewhere else. Because secretly the heart beat for a place somewhere warm and sunny. And at some point the urge to go her own way became bigger and bigger, without Jennyfer. To speak it out loud was not possible for several more years. Simply out of fear of hurting her twin.
The fear of being left behind by the twin
On the other hand, Jennyfer increasingly had the feeling of always following in the footsteps of her twin sister’s life. It was Jessyca who came with ideas and decisions and knew: What’s good for her will also be good for the twin sister. And yet it felt like decisions were being imposed. This has not been questioned for a long time. The need for change of the twin sister was palpable. It became tight in this well-known twin bubble and the fear grew not to cope with the change of Jessyca and to be left behind in the end.
The separation from the twin sister
One always goes ahead. And so Jessyca took the most important step of her life. The step on the way of her own journey! Because the situation came to a head and the question of one’s own being became so loud that she could no longer ignore it. The way went to a monastery: Here she trained as a business coach to work primarily on her own topics. There she also met her mentor, who accompanies her to this day! The change could be seen and felt. She got to know new people, suddenly dealt with other topics and spoke increasingly in the “I” instead of in the “we” form. This led to the first tensions, because suddenly people no longer agreed on everything. And this in turn led to increased incomprehension and quarrels. But for Jessyca it was clear that she wanted and had to stay on her new path. The way to oneself also meant the separation from the twin sister! The way to an independent personality!
No twin change without the other!
The twin relationship was at risk! Jennyfer stayed behind! At least that’s how she felt. She lay awake all night because of the recurring question “Who am I without my twin sister?” could not be answered. What was already clear to her at the time, the answer lay deep inside her: the basic trust! Trust in yourself and in life! But how could she get it? The seed was planted and so began her journey to herself! Through books, podcasts, online seminars, she immersed the world on topics such as self-awareness, self-confidence and values & needs. The key is to change your own self! We agreed: No twin change without the other! This was the only way we could find each other again at some point! But first everyone was allowed to get to know themselves!
I know exactly what you mean!
To get to know oneself meant to be honest with oneself! Both of us had a coach and mentor at our side who supported us! That was incredibly enriching! When it came to communication between us twins, however, we usually did not feel understood. Anyway, as non-twins, they simply couldn’t!
The numerous conversations we had with each other were often connected with tears and sometimes we just didn’t know what to do! There was no literature and Google couldn’t help us on our topics either! And yet we continued, because we knew that if we overcome our fears and blockages, it can only get easier again! We had discussions, honest, painfully liberating! Was it easy? Certainly not! But the more compassion and understanding each one could muster for themselves, the more we could do it for each other! And at some point, in one of our conversations, the question arose: “How do other twins do it? It can’t be that we are the only ones with such topics and are alone with it!” What would have helped us on this path would be someone who simply says: “I know exactly what you mean!” … And it really feels it!
We looked at each other and we both knew we had the same flash of inspiration: We help other twins so that they do not have to go this way alone! We had both paved the way there! Out of the twin symbiosis, into an independent and at the same time interconnected twin relationship! Because that is the true essence of being a twin! It took this experience for these visions to emerge.
Meanwhile, we know such great people who are identical twins themselves and we have noticed how important it is to be accompanied by someone who understands identical twins like no one else. An accompaniment that understands both sides and supports them in resolving fears, doubts and uncertainties.
It’s easier together!
We want these topics of being twins to be expressed and solved! Every twin or multiple who feels connected to our history and asks the same questions about his twin existence may walk the path together with us! We are also there for parents, partners or friends of Zwilingen and Mehrlingen. Come to us, we look forward to seeing you!
Your Jennyfer & Jessyca